Five good things about the NKOTB reunion

Rumors are swirling on the Internet about a reunion of early-'90s boy band New Kids on the Block; a cryptic video on www.nkotb.com certainly hints as much.

We at the Guide are not prone to hyperbole, and think that Led Zeppelin is OK or whatever, but this would be the Greatest Music Reunion Of All Time. A quick look at possible Good Things About A NKOTB Reunion:

• Would bring America one step closer to

social reacceptance of Hammer parachute pants.

• Jordan Knight can once again start performing in malls instead of working in their Orange Juliuses.

• Well, 33-year-old twice divorced mothers need a night on the town too.

• They could close the show with a "Beat It"-video style street fight with 98 Degrees.

• The company that sells the lip-synching equipment can expect a massive profit surge.

• Could lead to the long-overdue resurgence of Trapper Keepers

• Could serve as a reminder of the carefree days when a Bush presidency was just dreary instead of potentially deadly.

• Clay Aiken could organize rival super group featuring Gerardo, Vanilla Ice and the surviving members of Color Me Badd.

From staff reports