Unfinding Neverland

Published Fri, Feb 29, 2008 12:00 AM
From staff reports

Michael Jackson's increasingly tragic-looking Neverland Ranch is going up for auction this weekend. Bids start at $24 million, which, in addition to the ranch, will get you:

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• Macaulay Culkin

• The secret wall of failed noses

• Several truckloads of monkey diapers

• A well-stocked cellar full of "Jesus Juice"

• Dr. Jacko's Patented Giraffe-Monkey

Hybrid, code name "Longneck McChimp"

• 400 cans of instant rainbows

• Free Willy

• Daddy issues. Lots and lots of daddy issues

• Fleet of windowless white vans filled with candy

• Thousands of "We Are the World" shirts

• That machine that morphs faces into other faces

• Several unopened cases of flammable Pepsi

• Light-up sidewalk

• A room filled wall-to-wall with defense lawyers

• An overwhelming sense of shame


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