The Weekly Winkerbean

Can't follow all the action and plot twists every day in "Funky Winkerbean?" We read it, so you don't have to.

March 17-23: Funky wants to hire an employee for his pizza parlor, but needs one who will log the requisite number of hours that constitute a workday. Disbelief is expressed that someone would want a weekend off. It is revealed Funky is a workaholic. A man resembling Harvey Fierstein destroys the want ad before expressing interest in the job.

The Fierstein guy explains the money he would earn at this pizzeria is the difference between his daughter -- who is already sleeping around --going to college or becoming street trash. While he is not a poor teacher, the man explains, he is a poor teacher (actual dialogue).

The two shake hands and agree to remain friends, despite overwhelming evidence that working together ruins friendships. Later, they begin their business partnership by looking for Funky's glasses, which he has comically misplaced.